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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

A Walkthrough in Surviving a Cult Experience

            Often, it has been suggested that only weak individuals succumb to the pressure to join cults. While vulnerable times in the lives of people, such as divorce, death, or a recent move make some more susceptible to the false security provided by cults, many are well educated and would be considered the more zealous of their religious faith. These individuals interpret life in black and white, with little wiggle room, and seek ideals; they are tired of the smugness often depictive of traditional services. These members take on the subliminal and yet inspirational message to succeed!
             The term cult is not necessarily a bad word; however, a group or movement’s destructive behavior polarizes the inauspicious connotations. Initially one may ruminate of occult practices when cult is mentioned, but in fact, there is a definitive distinction between the two. Cult phraseology may be applied to political parties, social organizations, businesses, groups, and yes, of course religion.  The most acceptable connotation is that associated with religious practices. However, for the Christian, a cult is more than just the symbols and behaviors of religion in counterfeit worship and devotion, but is an antagonist of the faith. It attempts to reconstruct the tenets of the life in Christ.
             Originating with the Pharisees pertinacious resolve to reject the message of the Gospels, to the liberal amount of examples in the epistles lending to the struggle between faith and works, the age old struggle continues in postmodern times. In such contexts, cults are synonymous with legalism: the incongruity of works and faith.
            The allurement of cultic environments is in the emphasis on excelling. Quantitative results in witnessing, church attendance, brochure distribution, and services are definitive measurements of success. Faith in contrast, requires more discipline to rewards extending far beyond the present age.
The Trap
             Why do individuals become members of cults? Defined by religious services: preaching, teaching, and social events, cults resemble assemblies of the Faith in many mannerisms. Obviously, such communities do not place large advertisements of their manipulative behavior in their foyers, but rather disguise them with characteristics similar to traditional Protestant churches, but with aberrations in interpretations. Cautious observers perceive key elements in both the preaching and in the behavior of those actively involved in services, indicating something awry.
            Extra nice and helpful . . .
             Lets face it; the world is not as nice a place as it used to be.  We isolate ourselves from the cruelties exposed to by news broadcasts, newsprints, and community announcements. So, when entering a congregation where everyone is happy to see you minus the hustle and bustle of the twenty-first century, you can get a warm and fuzzy feeling. You will want to return and you will want to spend more time in such an environment in hopes that your life would capture the peace and niceties surrounding you. As if the members of the congregation are not friendly enough, they are unobliging.   Need help moving, looking for employment, babysitter references or a mechanic? If the resources are not available, they will intentionally identify references. When you are absent from service, they will call you to ensure you are fine. Oh yeah! They may show up uninvited to your home if you miss too many services (about two); but this is ok because you know their intentions are good. Despite the small inaudible voice of your conscience, you are impressed by what you see. Little by little, you are unsatisfied with yourself. Wow! Church is working  - you are loosing that complacency. There is only one problem – there is a distinguishable difference between what is seen and what really is.
            Redefining the family unit
             Isolation has commenced. You are spending more time with the church (six to seven days a week) ; relationships with family, loved ones, and other social communicative outlets are discouraged because of their negative impact. This is not an overtly propositioned rule of initiation, but rather an organizational structure secluding the cult member from family and friends. Remember, you want the peace surrounding you, but how will you get it? You ask yourself, how did they get it? You listen to the pastor’s sermon and the testimonies of the faithful members and understand that only through obedience can such serenity be achieved. Hey wait! You should have seen it all along. Are not these the words of Jesus Christ himself?  At an inconvenient time, again you hear that small voice of your conscience, I am tired and overworked; I need rest to think.  You ignore this. Consequently, while you are welcomed into the church and its functions, things at work and home are falling apart. You do not have time for family anymore. Your children are complaining, your spouse decides to stop attending the church because your personality is altering, and you find yourself defending more and more of the atypical behavior and doctrines of the church.
            This gradual process of entrance and amalgamation to a cult may take months to years depending on the individual’s disposition; nevertheless, it is a thorough process. With life whirl winding out of control, you decide it is time to meet with the pastor to present the concerns of your family, friends, and to provide some balance for yourself.           
five major signs of bondage
             So you meet with the pastor. You listen to his explanations of the phenomenon happening in your life since your church membership. In your mind, you are thinking, but that isn’t true . . .I am not sure about that . . . that does not sound right . . . You listen, but notice when you disagree, even remotely, and no matter how humbly, your comments are regarded as lack of faith. Scripture is used out of context. Members are advised to leave intolerant family members, including spouse and children rather than oppose the church. You notice the first signs of a façade. It is at this juncture the situation becomes critical. Individuals will choose either to ignore the voice of their conscience and plunge entirely into the cultic culture (feeling utter hopelessness) or become cognizant of something wrong and engage in resiliency and recovery. You must regain your life!
            Superior Truths
But, before you leave, you want to make sure that you are not making a mistake. Have you interpreted the signals and symbols correctly? How can you be sure after having investing so much of yourself? As it relates to acceptable church beliefs, the term orthodoxy is used. This does not suggest that all orthodoxy is correct or that all beliefs conflicting these norms are incorrect. However, orthodoxy facilitates in the uniformity of dogma across denominational lines. Cults own the same vocabulary but offer differing interpretations and meanings. This is the perception of something being amiss, identified by some on their first visit.
             Superior truths relates to the extra-biblical doctrines and revelations many cults hold to as being revealed directly from God. The leader, usually because of his or her special ranking with God, receives these truths and communicates them only to sect members. Salvation is not defined through Jesus Christ alone, but in the employment of other beliefs identified by the leader. The leader receives the revelation and may have these beliefs published in other mandated readings alongside, and considered equal to the Bible.  These truths include, but are not limited to the deity of Jesus Christ, incorporeal or metaphysical manifestations, and esoteric doctrines.
             Us Versus Them Mentality
             The unorthodox teachings in some instances make sense. After all, no one church has all the answers. But the problem occurs in the demeanor and deliverance of maxims, and the response to criticism. Because of these truths, the leader is the subject matter expert and should be sought for counseling and guidance rather than engaging in conversations with other laypersons. God will identify the necessary actions to the leader who will then advise the member of laity.
             Moreover, rather than examine doctrinal beliefs for consistencies or irregularities, cultic churches flagellate opposing organizations with pronouncements of curses. Jesus Christ has spoken exclusively to them and they have more truth than other congregations. Some communities will go, as far as to claim they are the only believers. This is one of the hallmarks of cults: intolerance and superciliousness. God is going to repay oppositionists for their criticism because they speak against the elect of God.  Not only is God going to repay their enemies, but also an enigmatic deliverance is offered as hope in some congregations. In the most severe instances, suicide ideation, revealed as a futurist date of martyrdom and God’s deliverance from persecution is presented.
Legalism over Love
             Christianity emphasizes God’s love as the causation of obedience and a life of holiness and worship. Not so in cults. Rules reign! Sacrifice, years of commitment, forfeiting of life goals, and family do not store up favor when a member is identified as disobedience to the most diminutive rule of the leader. Ordinances are not meant to be broken; therefore consequences may include segregation, open rebuke and criticism.  Regulations are not implemented for the sake of the individual’s spiritual growth or well-being but as a means of exercising control. Love is an emotion that is rewarded for good behavior that replicates the directives of the leader, or is redrawn as a means of punishment.
Trepidation
            Environments such as those described cause anxiety due to the leader’s influence over the congregation. The dichotomy of pleasing both God and human figures places stress of congregants, especially since the guidelines are almost impossible to keep indefinitely. Making matters worse is the fear experienced by those contemplating leaving or preparing to leave a cult: it is acute. The individual may be mentioned during the sermon, and ignored by peers. Because of the psychological aspect of cults, members endure a lot of abuse prior to exiting. It is not uncommon for heart palpitations such as in panic attacks to occur in anticipation of what is expected to take place during a service. Nightmares and fears of possible public confrontation are also common.
             Excommunication and Prosecution
Eventually the situation will come to a head. Cult-like churches do excommunicate individuals, and not necessarily for sin. Failure to comply is an excellent way to get shown the door. But before you leave, the ostracization escalates to persecution. You are now the target of sermons and your membership is downgraded because your witnessing numbers are down. It is not your fault. You are confused. You do not want to bring anyone into a church where you are uncertain of its doctrine.  You become the talk of the church. All the popular saints avoid you like the plague for fear of association with rebelliousness. God answers your prayers and provide you with strength. This time, no amount of talking is going to prevent you from leaving. Why? God has prepared you. You finally say good bye. . . although not literally; you just make the decision to not return.
The cost of leaving
             Leaving an abusive church is both exhilarating and depressing.  While only superficial, the group provides an umbrella of protection that is now gone. There are feelings of defilement, hurt, anger (aimed at God, others and self), and confusion. What now? Do you leave the Body of Christ and find another religion, become agnostic, atheist, or do you return to your former principles of the Christian faith prior to the cult experience? At this juncture, the cost of departing is very high. For some, family members have already moved on, while some must leave the only family and friends they know in order to be free. 
 Starting Over Free
             It is time for healing. Individuals exiting abusive churches are extremely wounded. Relationship distortions have occurred between God, family, friends, and the church. The prodigal child’s return, while joyous, will require strength to face what has occurred in the guise of Christian religion.  Individuals who minister to such individuals must have a great deal of love, patience, understanding, and wisdom from God. Counseling is oftentimes needed, but sometimes providing a atmosphere of healing through worship, praise, Bible study and fellowship allows the Holy Spirit to heal these individuals in the process of time.
             Forgiveness is essential. When leaving a cult, remember to forgive. God has set you free; so set those who hurt you free as well. Difficult as it is, release the pain and hurt. Do not forget to pray for those who have hurt you. Pray for their eyes to open to the truth as God has performed for you. An attitude of gratitude is the posture of forgiveness towards others and yourself. Failure to let go of past pains and those who have wounded you only servers as a means of hindrance to freedom in Christ. You must release your hurt into Christ’s hands.
             Be Patient with Others. Entering a new church congregation is difficult because of the liberty offered in the Body of Christ. It will take time to get use to behavior that appears less holy than what one has been exposed to until recently. Legalism has allowed you to place so much emphasis on outward behavior that you may experience difficulty in letting go of a judgmental attitude for some time. As you take steps in opening your heart, God will mend it and show you how to love others despite their faults. While some live more strict lives than others, all of Christ’s disciples live according to his commandments and are not held by rules conjured by man His creation.
             Lastly, allow yourself to feel God’s love. God loves you. Anytime spent in an abuse church is too long; however, when individuals spend extensive periods in such environments, it is not uncommon to question God’s love.  However, if you stay the course, you will successfully complete the process of healing. God has delivered you and we know that Christ will finish his work. You will not be left behind or forsaken because is with you on the journey to liberation.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Christ Requires More Than Your Holiness, He Requires All Of You!

Oftentimes the Holy Spirit makes us aware of some hindrance in our relationship with God. Oh, not sin necessarily, but there is an obstacle by which God, through his Spirit is trying to make us cognizant. These hindrances often masquerade themselves as sicknesses, broken dreams, divers wholesome addictions, educational and occupational pursuits, and even overactive religiousness. Complicating matters more is the reality that the longer you are in the Faith, and the more protracted the trial, the more difficult it is to adequately discern between the symptom and the problem, or even the existence of a spiritual predicament.
            Sometimes we ask God why? Why me; why so long; why so much pain, why do I feel so alone, why have you forgotten about me? Oh, it is not that we challenge His sovereignty or divine providence, but God has captured our attention in a most obvious manner that pricks our carnal man with His holy character. In response, in one manner or another, the why connotes, Ouch! God, you are hurting me! He has made us to feel uncomfortable in the realm of the natural man. We know “all things work together for good” (Rom. 8:26), and that we have a High Priest that can be “touched with the feelings of our infirmities” (Heb. 4:16), but yet still we ask, why? I mean after all, He loves us; He is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscience. He can fix what is wrong with our lives with only a Word, but He chooses to permit the thorns in our flesh to remain.
A Personal Testimony
            I write this because in my personal life I have been going through a seven-year struggle, coupled by a sixteen year trial by which it seemed that no matter how I fasted, prayed, memorized Bible chapters, attended church, there was no fix.  Everything became counter-productive. I felt I had an anger brewing inside me, but I did not know how to channel it. Occasionally, I would loose myself from its fetters only to find myself entangled in its web again. I could not be angry with God because He is perfect; I could not be angry with the Church because it is comprised of my brothers and sisters. So, I was holding it in – where was I going to place all this hidden anger?  Can anger just dissipate?
             I was not totally aware of this, but I was dodging God. Oh, I prayed, but just so as to meet the requirement. I attended church, but only because I was commanded to do so (Heb. 10:25); even preached and felt the power of God but was not totally yielded. I had a plan: I am going to serve God by his grace, but because of my past hurts, pains, and disappointments, I will not give 100 percent, but I will live holy because of God’s overt goodness in my life. Now, I want you to know that I did not say this audibly or plan it strategically. Instead, I lived it out.
            Unintentional Preparation
            We know God’s timing is perfect. During my break from academia, I had a difficult time focusing on the various genres of religious studies as I had planned: theology, sanctification, and etcetera. So, I went back to rudimentary studies – reading only my Bible. Since dodging God and identifying my religious efforts as counter-productive, I was reading barely enough to say I was daily engaging the Word. But it was through reading on average two hours a day that my soul’s true state surfaced: I was lukewarm! Oh my, how did this happen? Wait! I am not sinning, so am I really in a lukewarm state? Is not my living a holy life enough?
            Do not get me wrong, I absolutely love my church, but I was tired of it. It felt like attending services was not resolving the obstacles or challenges I was facing.  We know how the Devil works; he proposes that our circumstances are so unique that no one could ever understand. However, I decided I would attend church more regularly during my break from academia; this was not an emotional decision, more like a necessary one. I know I needed to be in fellowship. God took advantage of the revival mode I intentionally determined to be in to corner me. Oh, the Holy Spirit has been daily working on my conscience, but I was meeting the requirements by God’s grace, so I tuned Him out. How? Work – I stayed so busy that anytime I had time to myself all I could do was rest. Again, this was not intentional; it was my standardized manner of living.
             An Unwelcomed Intervention
            Because I was on-call during the past weekend and had additionally set my mind to attend church, I did not rest adequately and was slightly agitated when my brother sent me a text after 5am in the morning. I did not want to ignore his message because I knew he was flying into Japan from the Philippines.  God, having already cornered me, was now positioning for an arrest!  Once awakened, I was unable to return to sleep.  What am I going to do? It is too early to go bike riding or engage the running trails . . .
            Then it happened! I cannot explain to you how, but God and I entered a conversation. Yes, the one that always initiated but never completed because of my busy schedule. During this time God revealed something so elementary yet transformational that I decided to share it! Now, this is not for everyone. But I know there is someone out there that is discouraged about his or her walk in God. His promises have not yet been fulfilled; your child is not yet healed, that husband or wife is not yet saved, you have not yet been delivered, and you are weakening under the prolonged pressure. Whatever your trial, you have been going through for decades and you can feel your faith, your love, your relationship, and your joy in our loving Father stabilized rather than growing.
            Everything starts with Calvary and Jesus Christ, so my admittance and repentance during the studying of the Scriptures and Church attendance serve as a precursor to transformation. In essence God made me to know that my unhappiness was a result, not of my circumstances, but due to my interpretation of these situations. In other words, I had already defined how my life should be, based upon his promises, and in comparison to His plans for my life, and since the one did not equal the other, subconsciously, I felt like God had failed me.  I felt a sense of hopelessness. I need you to get this – we must not only accept God’s promises but we have to have peace with how He chooses to fulfill them.
             Let me elaborate. Some will say, “God called me to ministry” or “God promised to heal me, my child/family member”; however, while we do not give God a timeframe for His promises, the longer we wait for them to be fulfilled, the greater the propensity for discouragement. Here, I am not speaking of the two to five year struggle, or even the twenty-year promise. Although these are all relevant, I am speaking of any struggle where in our hearts and minds, we have determined that the pain, and the suffering has occurred long enough and therefore produces a counter-productive response from our hearts and minds.
            My Dream Vs. God’s Vision
            Somehow we have dislocated ourselves from the lives and testimonies of those we celebrate daily through Scriptural reading and who suffered during Christ’s physical presence on earth and those down through the centuries. Surely, God really does not expect me to wait twelve, eighteen, or even thirty-eight years for a blessing? He must know we do not live as long as Moses and other biblical persons?  I cannot wait that long for my blessing! Therefore we attempt to propel God to action a little more expeditiously than in biblical times. Our rationalization of how and when God does what He is doing in our lives cries, why? God, what are you doing? It is not suppose to turn out this way!  It is this subtle human, and carnal rationalization that robs the faithful Christian of his or her joy and the elasticity to give thanks in all things.
               Based on the sum total of what one has learned in church, life, and education, an image has been formed of what and how life should manifest itself or play out.  Oh, this imagery is most subtle brothers and sisters and the most difficult to rid oneself of. Coupled with expectancy, it makes for one’s most tenacious enemy to be oneself rather than Satan. God reminds us, “He takes the wise in their own craftiness” (1 Cor. 3:19). Jesus reminds us, “the words He speaks unto us are Spirit and life” (Jn. 6:33). Consequently, belief in God’s ability to perform his perfect will in our lives and for it to bring about true joy will not come from academia, nor from our limited knowledge tanks, nor theories, or even church clichés, but only through faith in Him alone (Heb. 10:36-11:6). All the other mentioned items are fine in their proper perspective, but are not a sure foundation when one’s faith is truly tested.
             It is ok to ask God why. The Psalms and the entire Bible for that matter is filled with questions to God in search for understanding of God’s infinite wisdom, which constantly baffle even the most learned theologian and bible student. But if God chooses not to respond immediately, rest in faith rather than permit human rational to run exuberantly.
God’s Faithfulness Will Bring Fulfillment of His Promises
             God does not change; He is faithful (Heb. 4:6:18). Jesus death and resurrection, and active priesthood, in conjunction with the gift of the Holy Ghost demonstrate God’s everlasting love to us as his creation. I appreciate the way the prophet Jeremiah proclaims it: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end” (29:11).  The apostle Paul also states, “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform [it] until the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil 1:6). The reinstatement of joy in the Christian life demands an assurance of God and his promises.
             And while we know the Scriptures, “My thoughts are not your thoughts” (Isa. 55:8); “The natural man receiveth not the things of God” (1 Cor. 2:14) and  “The carnal mind is enmity against God” (Rom. 8:5-8), we usually attribute these Scriptures, as should be, to differentiate between walking in the flesh from that of walking in the Spirit. Herein lies the subtle danger: reliance upon ones conceived blueprint for God’s fulfillment of his promises than allowing his perfect will to be performed. My encouragement to you and myself is that God has not forgotten His promises; only we must let go of how and when we have assumed God would bring them to pass.
            I would suggest even letting go of those past hurts, failures, timelines, and unfulfilled dreams. We know we are called to suffer. You may say, “But you do not know what I have been through”. I would agree with your assessment. But God does, and I am positive that your suffering is no more than what Christ has borne in our stead. Again, faith states, this suffering has a purpose, my waiting is not in vain, this is not an arbitrary situation, God is taking me somewhere, and how he is performing the transition from promise to fulfillment is best. I do not understand it, but I choose to rest on God’s promises: not my education, not my earthly wisdom, not my theological background, but simply on His Word.
Final Thoughts
             Lastly, from this conversation with God, I realized that God wants more than my sacrifice of holy living. Here, I was a bit surprised. What could be more than the offering of one’s life for the purpose of sanctification? All of one’s heart, desire, dreams, and hopes. Because He loves me, He wants all of me. There is a danger in providing God with a Cain sacrifice rather than an Abel sacrifice (Gen 4:7).  A sacrifice without any of my heart, or some of my heart, and even most of my heart is unacceptable to the Lord.  So today by God’s grace, I let go of how I had my life planned to accept what God is doing in my life. I do not necessary understand it but by faith I accept it. Now, I feel lighter and freer. And to answer my own question, anger does not just dissipate, but Christ can and does remove it and fills the void with joy and peace. Praise God.